Airhead in the Snow

I quick-charged the battery on the R100, it wasn't really low, and put fresh oil in it. Man, does 20w50 move slow in the winter! I stood there and thought about it. I started her up and warmed up the engine. I thought about it some more. I turned off the engine and continued to think about it. I sighed. I turned towards the garage door. I looked out into the alley with the plowed damage of 8 inches of snowfall, some flurry still coming down. Maybe I could do it. Maybe I wouldn't squirrel out of control trying to accelerate on the snowy alley. Maybe the front wheel wouldn't lock up when I so much as touched the brake. Maybe I wouldn't break my 53 year-old leg trying to catch my balance. Maybe I wouldn't break all of my ribs as I was thrown to the ground. Maybe I wouldn't do major cosmetic damage to which ever side of the bike slid along the asphalt. Maybe monkeys would come flying out of my butt.